I woke up this morning crying. On one hand, it came out of the blue. I mean, I was just fine last night. Hubby is out of town, so I had the entire bed to myself. My daughter and I had a great week. We even went to bed laughing last night. I’ve been doing good.
But on the other hand, I know what I was crying for and what it really was all about. It was a pain that I had experienced. A real pain that I had gone through. It was a while ago. Some of it went back years and years ago.
I like to think that I am the Queen of Forgiveness. I am quick to forgive and move on like nothing happened. But the truth is something did happen, and my hurt and the pain I feel is valid.
This leads me to my question…Is forgiveness enough? I have come to the conclusion that, NO! Forgiveness is not enough. There is some work that still needs to be done within you in order to heal you from your pain.
So, the first thing I did was to ask God, “What do I do about this pain?”
He showed me Isaiah 41:10. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”
To be dismayed is to have feelings of being in distress and anxiety. Consternation is anxiety that is typically about something unexpected. Distress is associated with extreme anxiety, sorrow, or pain.
I believe what he was telling me is to lean on Him. He’ll never leave me nor forsake me (Joshua 1:5). He says take my yoke upon me and learn of me. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:29). He heals the broken and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
So I’m going through the Bible and there are a ton of scripture in there about how God is close to us and how he wants us to rest in Him and how he will give us peace. But none of that tell me what to do!
So I ask God, “Lord, none of this tells me what to do! It only tells me that you are there for me and I already know this. But now what?
And that’s when it hit me…
It still hurts because there is a portion of my life…this hurt and pain…that I have not surrendered or submitted to God yet. I’ve been trying to handle it on my own. Doing it my own way, and in my own time. This is not working because I AM NOT GOD!!
There are some things that only God can do. Hurt and pain will become a part of who you are until you give it to God.
So, what do we do?
- PRAY – This helps to strengthen your connection with Him because it is simply you talking to Him. It is you building a relationship with Him. When you pray ask Him to reveal some things to you.
- What was I supposed to learn by going through this? What was the test?
- What do you want me to see, or learn, about myself in this situation? Where do I still need to work?
- Turn what He reveals to you into a Bible Study. What He reveals to you are the things you want to study. This is your target. Find out what the Word has to say about your situation. Find someone in the Bible that faced the same challenges you are facing.
- What challenge did they face. What did they do? What did they do right? What did they do wrong? What was the outcome? How did God move?
- What was the lesson learned from this story?
- Take Action to make the changes needed to leave the old way of life, or the old way of thinking behind you. The battle is first won in your mind. Take back your mind. Filter your thoughts, anything that makes you go back to that place of pain must be countered with what the Word says. The enemy wants you to be stuck in that same place and that same time. If you don’t progress, you won’t be effective to do your part to increase the Kingdom.
- What practical actions can you take to heal?
- Is there something physical or tangible that you need to get rid of. Sometimes we can become attached to things and place a sentimental value on them, and we are attached spiritually to them. It makes it hard to detach from the negative when we are spiritually bound to them. Free your mind first, and then take the steps to physically free yourself from what keeps you bound.
- Pray for the one that offended you. By praying for them, you release them and give them to God for Him to deal with. The Bible says to pray for those that despitefully use you. But how do you do that? If they did something to offend you, you must understand that their actions were a reflection of what was on their mind to do. And what is in their mind is a reflection of what is in their heart…and THIS is where the problem lies.
The issue is their heart. Somewhere down the line their heart changed, and this is where you need to target your prayers. Ask God to heal their heart. Don’t just ask Him to heal the things you think are wrong with them. That is only you speaking from your flesh in anger. But truly ask for healing for them. If their heart is sick, it will affect the rest of them, from the things they say to the things they do, to the way they feel, affecting their relationships and more. People lash out in anger and hurt other people because somewhere inside there is a pain that they have yet to deal with.
5. Finally, constantly examine yourself to ensure you are not holding on to something that is affecting your life and your relationships. When you get free from whatever was holding you captive in your mind, DON’T GO BACK!